Thoughts on Being Facebook Free

I have been without Facebook for almost a month now, and I decided to share some of what I've been feeling since because I've had people ask me how it's going. I want to start off by saying that I may or may not have deleted my Facebook account for selfish reasons. I do see some selfish reasons. I am someone who gets very stressed that my life isn't going the way it should be. I thought I'd be married, or at least had my first boyfriend by now. I'm almost 24 and have never been in a relationship. On Facebook everyone I knew was getting awesome jobs, getting married, posting awesome things they were doing with their significant other, or having babies. I was still single, with few friends, living with my parents, and ALWAYS working. You can see how that would put stress on someone. 

Yeah, I might have been selfish in that way, but I really want to be happy for them. Some of my best friends have gotten married or are having babies and I want to celebrate this time of their lives with them because if I would expect the same for them. I knew Facebook was only feeding the negativity and the devil was having a field day with me. So, I deleted them app and now I'll post some thoughts on how I'm feeling.

one. The first week was the absolute hardest. I never realized how often I actually just unconsciously hit the Facebook app button on my phone or clicked the icon when I was on my computer. The first week my finger would go to where the app button used to be only to realize I was clicking something else. I was  actually mad at myself because I didn't realize how much time I actually spent on it. I felt so cut off from the world that first week.

two. I may be Facebook free, but that doesn't mean I haven't been using other aspects of social media. In fact, I think I'm using Twitter more than I ever have and I went back to using Tumblr almost as much as I did in college (although not quite).

three. I feel like I'm building into friendships more without Facebook. When I was using Facebook I would write on people's "walls" random 'hello's' and such. But it would just be a random sentence or two here and there without any actual thought going into it. Now, I have a few friends who I am constantly e-mailing. I feel like it is so much more personal now because I actually take the time to ask how their days are going or keep conversations going.

four. I think in a way we all use Facebook to boost our egos. I know I did. I would post something and constantly check to see if people noticed by liking or commenting on it. Now, I don't have that. I don't even know if anyone really reads this blog anymore since I don't have it sent directly to my Facebook wall. Sometimes it makes me depressed but then I think about the real reason I started this blog. It says right in my "about" page. I wanted it as a reminder of how blessed I am. It doesn't matter how many people read it. I'm not curtailing this for anyone but myself. I want it for my friends, my real friends and if they want to read about my life I know they will read it.

five. I'm still surrounded by marriages and pregnancies. You mean life doesn't stop when you are off Facebook? Nope. There are so many people in this blogging community who have posted about finding out their pregnant. I am happy for them. Am I still feeling down about still being single? Of course, but I'm trying to find ways to over come it, and the blogging world I think is a lot less intrusive than Facebook, so it's  a lot easier to deal with.

six. I also never realized how much was actually on Facebook! One example is that when I found out my sister was going to the Philippines I wanted to contact my friend who lives in Japan to let her know that I wanted to visit her when I visited my sister. However, the only way I could contact her is through Facebook since she is in Australia right now. So, I have to wait until I get it back. Another example is that I went to find a picture to use on my blog and after searching through the folders on my computer I realized that the picture I wanted was actually one my friend had taken and they only way I would be able to retrieve it is through Facebook. Also, many shops and blogs have Facebook pages that I can't follow because I'm not signed into Facebook to do so. Even apps on my phone are connected to Facebook, and I can't use some, like Draw Something, because I don't want to use my e-mail.

Will I get my Facebook back? Absolutely. Will I keep  it? I'm not sure. If I don't I do plan on signing in for a little longer to make sure I really do collect the contact information from friends I do want to stay in contact with. However, I will probably just keep it because I have so many friends all over and it's the easiest way to stay connected. When will I sign back on? I've been debating this. From the beginning I said it was going to be April. Now,  I don't know if that's just an ego boost because I want to see how many people remember my birthday because I know people won't if I'm not on there. So part of me just wants to wait until May or June so I don't have to find my happiness from people's birthday wishes. BUT on the other hand I do miss browsing people's Facebooks. I do feel disconnected from everyone, so it would be nice to see what everyone has been up to.

I kind of babbled on more than I expected, but it felt good to finally put into words what I've been thinking about since my disappearance. Overall, it's been a great feeling. I feel like I've been detoxing my mind, and that is something I need. Things aren't all rainbows and butterflies, but I don't feel comfortable sharing that part of my life.